JE's Ramblings

pimp post - Doctor Who

2009-09-27T13:04:24Z

plusone_rumble @LJ has opened it's doors for a new round!

new asylum

2009-07-15T10:14:08Z

Since I love procrastinating instead of doing important things, I've decided to create an asylum for support. Anybody who wants to achieve something (no matter what) is welcome to join and share. Maybe with a little pressure/control possibilities it will result in success!

achieve_it

I certainly know that even if there aren't any comments, just posting regular updates will get to me actually do something... nothing worse than a guilty conscience when actually seeing it in writing.

Photoshop 7

2009-06-23T17:37:23Z

Anyone remember my offer to translate my notes on Photoshop 7 as I type it up? Well, after months of doing nothing I've started typing up again and am currently on Page 8 of 14 (well... a page meaning 2 pages actually as it's a sheet of paper with notes on both sides). And I have a feeling that I'm moving along quicker than before (might be the difference in neatness though...)

Anyway, I uploaded what I typed up so far to see if it's actually understandable. I would ask about formatting, but since I published it through Google Docs, it's a bit of a hit and miss (as in Google Docs replaced all my arrows with other letters and while I use the "Find and Replace" function to fix that, I'm not sure if I might have missed anything).

Anyway, for anybody who's interested you can check it here: http://docs.google.com/View?id=dgqfgwjh_26djx8wcv4

I also noticed that Photoshop CS3 is still pretty similar ;)

(And yes, this is my way of procreating when I should be working on my Bachelor Thesis... although I could always post more of my icons -- if only I wouldn't hate the coding /read: numbering of the icons/ so much)

voting help

2009-03-18T16:04:05Z

I need voting help for challenge 11 of my icontest community tv_icontest. There's a three-way tie and I don't want to announce three out of five icons as winners.

Photoshop

2009-03-15T14:51:55Z

So... during the summer last year I had a book about Photoshop 7 from the university library since I wanted to check something (not sure what any more) and I ended up reading the first half of it and taking notes of the little things I didn't know/hadn't discovered in my exploring yet. When my practical semester started I didn't have time to finish it and now I have the book again and plan on finishing it soon (hopefully today so I can bring it back together with other books tomorrow)...

So far all my notes are on paper, but I plan on typing it up and wondered if anybody would be interested in it. I'm asking now since all my notes are in German and I wouldn't mind translating it as I type up (since I need the English terms for any tutorials I end up writing anyway). I'm sure that I left some things out that I already know about (and won't forget again) last year, but I seem to be more exact this time around.

Anybody who's interested, feel free to drop me a comment and I'll post it once I'm done with taking notes/typing the notes up.

Courage Campaign: Fidelity Don't divorce us.

2009-02-17T10:43:42Z

Not living in the US, I can't vote but I wanted to show my support nonetheless:

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Please those who can vote go here and sign the petition against prop 8. Thank you.

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/divorce

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T15:28:35Z

I wish everybody a nice (and mostly harmless) New Year's Eve and a Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T21:49:51Z

I wish everybody a Happy Christmas (or whatever your celebrating)! Hope there will be/were a lot of gifts (and especially things you wanted ;) ) Have a nice couple of days with family and loved ones without fights or other aggravations.

I'm suitably tipsy already on 3 or 4 glasses of sparkly wine, half of my gifts are unpacked (the other half will come with my grandparents tomorrow after lunch probably) and now my parents are a couple of houses down with a few more people who have grown kids that aren't home on Christmas (or "in bed" at 10pm like I usually am because I'm bored watching TV while the TV is too distracting for me working on my computer)

screencaps anyone?

2008-12-23T20:19:26Z

I'm willing to take on requests for screencaps... go and check out this post for a list of DVDs I own and can make screencaps from.

pimp post for lj people

2008-12-01T20:25:06Z

There's a new idea for a lims over at LJ. So far there are only 3 participants and the first challenge gets posted next Monday.

stuff

2008-11-25T22:50:48Z

Saw this on my lj flist and couldn't resist :D

I sadly didn't get to work on posting icons as I had intended and said on my lj while posting a pimp for a classic who lims I joined, but I was busy with other things... namely calling my grandfather (it's his birthday), playing Hearts and Minesweeper, dinner and showering. I did work on reading through my flist on both lj and ij though, while still denying having to do more tutorials.

I had participated in severalplums @LJ since challenge 19, only missing one or so. For challenge 30 I got Mod's Invitation. The first time I won something there, despite getting close after my own counting (voting gets unscreened) and this round (31) I made both first and second with my two icons! Mind you, there were only 5 and 2 where utter crap in my opinion, but that didn't mean I expected to win again.

Let's see if I write the tutorial on Saturday or if I manage to get it in before then. I'll also have to check the icontests I'm entering. Or well, I decided to make Thursday, Saturday and Sunday my icon days. Thursday for all those due on Friday and Saturday/Sunday for the rest... I just need to make sure that I'm not missing any icontests ;) and find something productive for the other days... like writing. Something I have done sporadically the entire year. I really need to get more of it done, especially now that my muse seems to be back. Certainly started enough fics for that (mainly HP and Doctor Who)

It's time for bed now though... Nearly midnight and I'd like to be yawning a bit less at work tomorrow.

new icons

2008-08-23T20:23:40Z

So... after some time of few icons being made, I finally posted some again.

Half of them are icontest icons and the rest is for Torchwood...

Samples:

They can be found here

Took long enough. Then again, I spent most of Thursday working on a uni project, nearly finishing it. I got an email from my Professor about a problem I ran into and just need to fix it.

The scariest part? All those LJ and IJ posts I bookmarked to comment on after having them open for most of the day due to being too tired late at night... I guess they got plenty full again. Really need to catch up again.

a new asylum

2008-08-17T22:05:54Z

Alright, I caved, I created my 8th asylum. This time it's an icontest (since I've become so addicted to them). It's called tv_icontest and offers a challenge for different TV Shows each week.

I originally planned to make the first challenge for Torchwood with the theme duos, but as I was about to make screencaps for it (since I only had crappy ones for the scene I wanted) I found out that the files I had were corrupt. So I switched it with the second challenge, which was the CSI episode "Big Middle" (which is now the first challenge).

Now I just have to wait until Wednesday(?) when my last post to asylum_promo is a week old to add it to my regular pimp there. To think I originally did those posts on Saturday... until I kept forgetting and posting the next day which eventually turned into Wednesday.

So... now I'll answer comments on IJ and LJ before heading to bed - or cleaning my bed of the stuff I threw on it when I started cleaning my room and stopped halfway through.

Asylums

2008-07-12T14:13:13Z

Asylums I created and manage! Feel free to check them out and join.

10prompts is a challenge community for fic writers. Right now there are 10 tables (10 prompts each) to pick from. All fandoms as well as slash, het and gen are welcome.
- stories should have a minimum length of 200 words. For further rules check out the rules post
- tables can be viewed here and I hope you find one interesting enough to join in on the fun.
- all questions can be asked in the rules post.

***

harry_slash is for stories, art and anything else that features Harry Potter in a slash pairing. It's open for any rating and pairing (as long as it features Harry and is slash of course ;) ). Any questions left? Ask here

***

stargate_xover is a place where you can post anything that's a crossover with either of the Stargate series. Any rating and any pairing is welcome.
Questions can be asked here

***

dw_threesomes is for any and all threesomes for Doctor Who, Torchwood and the Sara Jane Adventures.
Comment here for questions.

***

dw_fest is a challenge community, inspired by slashfest @ LJ with the difference that this fest is limited to Doctor Who, Torchwood and the Sarah Jane Adventures (and any other show/movie/etc related to them)
Right now you can submit prompts and vote for how long a round should be (the writing phase). I will announce when the claiming phase starts with enough time. Since this is the first round, I'll be waiting until enough prompts have been submitted though.
- For questions, check out this post
- Rules can be found here

pimp

2008-07-11T18:15:50Z

The disney_icontest needs more votes for the Jack Sparrow round here!

You can also join the next round which is all about the movie Cars.

TV Shows I've watched.

2008-07-06T16:11:57Z

Alright... I meant to do this a long time ago (Beginning of the year? Earlier? Later?) and I remember I started, but then I stopped again and I can't even remember what I did with the list I already had...
For more explanations check out the post I've posted to to je_fic... I just figured I'd post this here as well, so people know what I'm going to be talking about.

The shows are divided into "Currently Addicted" (i.e. the shows I'm currently addicted to and/or watched in the last month), "Recently" (i.e. the shows I'm still slightly fond of, but haven't really watched in a while/am not obsessing over) and "Old" (i.e. the shows I watched years ago and that don't have any new episodes coming out (in most cases)). IF A SEASON ISN'T LISTED, THEN I HAVEN'T WATCHED A SINGLE EP OF IT! (or watched it so recently, that I didn't update the list yet)

Anything marked as all* is a guess, since I have the Season on DVD and assume, that I've watched it, even if I can't connect the episode summary with the episode.

CURRENTLY ADDICTED
Doctor Who

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all	-
2	Christmas Invasion 1-10	Fear Her(11) Army of Ghosts(12) Doomsday(13)
3	1-13	The Runaway Bride
4	The Voyage of The Damned all	-

Torchwood

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-10 12-13	Combat(11)
2	all	-

Sarah Jane Adventures

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-8	9&10

Dead Like Me

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all	-
2	all	-

RECENTLY
Heroes

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-10	11-23

Stargate: Atlantis

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-7 9-13 15 17-20	8 14 16
2	1-3	4-20
3	8 12	1-7 8-11 13-20

CSI

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all*	-
2	all*	-
3	all*	-
4	all*	-
5	all?	-
6	1-13? 15	14 16-24

CSI:NY

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all*	-
2	all?	-
3	1-3	4-24

House

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all	-
2	1-19 24	20-23
3	1	2-24

Numb3rs

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all*	-
2	1-11	12-24

Bones

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-7 9-13	8 14-22

Supernatural

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-20	21-22

NCIS

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
0	-	(JAG episodes)
1	all*	-
2	all*	-
3	1-9 11-12 16-18 22-24	10 13-15 19-21

OLD
CSI:Miami

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all*	-
2	all*	-

Highlander

Only caught repeats out of order... more detail later
Buffy

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	?	?

X-Files

Too long ago and a whole lot of episodes started without finishing (still had a bed time when I started)... more details later. I remember stopping during season 5 (which was post movie for me)
Earth 2

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-?	?

Space: Above and Beyond

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	1-?	?

Without A Trace

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all*	-
2	all*	-
3	?	?

Gilmore Girls * watched it because of/with a friend

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	?	?

Smallville * watched it because of/with a friend

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	?	?

Dark Angel

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all*	-
2	1-?	?

Babylon 5

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all	-
2	all	-
3	1-?	?

Star Trek

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
?	?	?

Star Trek:TNG

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
?	?	?

Star Trek:DS9

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
?	?	?

Star Trek:Voyager

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
?	?	?

Stargate

Season	watched	haven't watched yet
1	all?	-
2	all?	-
3	all?	-
4	1-?	?

screencaps made by me

2008-07-03T21:10:45Z

I copied my original screencaps post on LJ, added (several) Heroes and (tons of) Doctor Who screencaps to the list and posted it to je_fic, my creative asylum. Over the next few days (hopefully I'll get it all tomorrow), I'll add the caps I made for Torchwood.

The direct link to the post: http://asylums.insanejournal.com/je_fic/5021.html

Icontest Commercial

2008-06-28T13:20:48Z

I'm talking about disney_icontest...

Winners were supposed to be announced on Wednesday for the first round, but since there weren't enough voters yet (apparently), the voting should still be open. The round was all about Dumbo!

Vote Here

The second round features Jack Sparrow and is still open until July 6th! (entry here)

Now go vote... I want to know how good I did with the 3 icons I did (out of 6 ;P)

icons

2008-04-07T17:32:26Z

Subject: The Mummy Returns, CSI, CSI:NY
Artist: JE/ immortalje
Rules:
1. Don't hotlink;
2. Please comment when you take one of them or simply to say you like them or not;
3. Credit? Yes, please do. It's not mandatory BUT very much appreciated;
4. Textless icons are NOT bases.
Credit: Credits for the resources I used to make these icons can be found on my profile.

Samples:

CSI

1. 2. 3. 4.

5. 6. 7. 8.

9. 10. 11.

12. 13.

CSI:NY

14. 15. 16. 17.

18. 19. 20. 21.

22. 23. 24. 25.

26. 27. 28. 29.

30. 31. 32. 33.

The Mummy Returns

34. 35. 36. 37.

38. 39. 40. 41.

42. 43. 44. 45.

46. 47. 48. 49.

50. 51. 52. 53.

54. 55. 56. 57.

58. 59. 60. 61.

62. 63. 64. 65.

66. 67. 68. 69.

70. 71. 72. 73.

74. 75. 76. 77.

78. 79. 80. 81.

82. 83. 84. 85.

86. 87. 88. 89.

90. 91. 92. 93.

94. 95. 96. 97.

98. 99. 100. 101.

102. 103. 104.

105. 106. 107.

108. 109. 110.

111. 112. 113.

114. 115. 116.

117. 118. 119.

120. 121. 122.

123. 124. 125.

126. 127. 128.

129. 130. 131.

132. 133. 134.

135. 136. 137.

138. 139. 140.

141. 142. 143.

144. 145. 146.

147. 148. 149.

150. 151. 152.

153. 154. 155.

156. 157. 158.

159. 160. 161.

162. 163. 164.

165. 166. 167.

168. 169. 170.

171. 172. 173.

174. 175. 176.

177. 178. 179.

180. 181. 182.

183. 184. 185.

186. 187. 188.

189. 190.

new challenge

2008-03-28T11:12:42Z

I'll be working on a new challenge. This one for my (first) own challenge community 10prompts. All of my other challenges can be found at my lj at the moment.

My Claim: Jack Harkness for Torchwood

01.	spying	02.	cooking	03.	living	04.	moving	05.	loving
06.	driving	07.	caring	08.	healing	09.	dying	10.	Writer's Choice

FIC: Drunken Revelations (Medical Investigations)

2008-03-01T23:06:19Z

Title: Drunken Revelations
Author: JE
Summary: Stephen finds Miles in a bar, getting drunk. Will there be regrets after a night together?
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Stephen/Miles
Website Link: http://www.geocities.com/immortalje/english/other/drunken.html
Notes: Spoilers for Mutation
Beta: 3sa

Drunken Revelations

Miles was at his wits end. He was in love with his boss who on occasion seemed to want more between them as well and on others he was so distant and totally shut off. He was afraid to risk getting closer, but he wanted Stephen Connor so badly. Was it worth his job?

On the rare night off, when they weren't working somewhere against a mysterious illness, he went out to find a replacement. None of them were good enough though. There was always something missing.

For now he was sitting at his favourite bar, club really, his third beer in hand and waiting for his next shot. He didn't bother with counting them. Once he had drunk enough he would go around, search for another One-Night-Stand.

He was just lifting his shot glass, which had finally arrived, when he was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder, a hand that was turning him around. It didn't take long for him to realise that he had come face to face with his crush, Stephen Connor.

Remembering his shot, he downed it and placed the glass on the counter, before asking, "What are you doing here?" Only it didn't come out as clear as he had hoped it would. Maybe he had already more than he should have had.

He felt his heartbeat get faster due to being in such close proximity to Stephen and he feared that he would do something he'd regret later on.

"Making sure you're not going to do something stupid after today," answered Stephen.

Miles' heart skipped a beat at the thought of Stephen being worried, but he reminded himself that the older man would have been worried about the others if one of them had to make the decision. And today it had been him who had to make a difficult decision.

Ordering his speech centre not to slur, he said, "It's not about her or anyone else who we didn't save. Just trying to get over a crush. Been trying for a while as a matter of fact."

"You know that alcohol isn't the answer," asked Stephen.

Miles looked at Stephen, contemplating his answer. After a while he said, "It makes it easier."

In order to be heard over the noise they had come closer and Miles heart was currently breaking all speed records. He was tempted to lean forward and taste those full lips.

Suddenly Stephen was calling his name. Apparently he had been so distracted by those beautiful lips that he had missed the last question the older man had asked. Somehow he found he didn't care. Therefore, instead of asking for Stephen to repeat the question, Miles leaned in and kissed Stephen full on the lips.

Stephen froze in surprise. When Miles noticed that the other man didn't return the kiss, he pulled back, cursing himself. He shouldn't have done that. That's what he had wanted to evade and now he'd done it.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that," muttered Miles before turning back to the bar, ordering another shot and grabbing his beer.

Meanwhile, Stephen had caught himself and stepped even closer, "Miles, I really think you've had enough for tonight. I'll bring you home."

All the time, Stephen wondered whether it was a good idea. What if Miles regretted whatever was going to happen between them tomorrow? If anything happened.

"So I can be home by myself? Why do you think I'm here?" asked Miles after a swig of beer.

Suddenly Stephen stopped. Could it be that he was the reason? He had felt that there were moments between them when he thought the other man was interested.

It was then that he noticed that Miles was avoiding eye contact. He turned him back around and cradled his face in his hands.

"Oh Miles, that's no reason for getting drunk as hell," said Stephen before leaning in and kissing the younger man. He could feel the other man catching up with what was happening and then he kissed back. It made him wonder why he never did it before.

Pulling back and catching his breath, Stephen asked, "Ready to go home with me?"

"Yeah... always," answered Miles breathlessly.

Stephen paid the bartender and pulled Miles up. He knew what would happen once they reached Miles' flat and it excited him. They soon left the club and Stephen steered Miles to his car.

Half an hour later, they had reached the younger man's flat and as soon as the door was closed behind him, Miles was all over him.

"Bedroom," insisted Stephen and pushed Miles in the right direction.

Not paying any attention to their surroundings, they made their way to the bedroom, undressing each other along the way.

They stumbled onto the bed, never breaking their kissing and exploration of each other's body. Suddenly Miles stopped moving and after some confusion Stephen realised that the younger man had passed out or simply fell asleep. Might be for the best.

Stephen sighed and drank in the sight of a deep asleep Miles McCabe before pulling the covers up and over them. He pulled Miles close and hugged him to his chest. They could talk about this tomorrow.

***

When Miles woke the next morning he felt the after effects of the alcohol he had drunk the night before, namely a rebelling stomach that complained painfully and a hazy memory. He felt someone behind him and wondered who he had taken home with him. Turning around he came face to face with none other than Stephen Connor. Suddenly his memory cleared up and he remembered how the other man had unexpectedly stood in front of him.

Everything inside him froze. He could have screwed up real bad. Worst of all, he wasn't sure how far they went. Things pointed to pretty far, considering his current state of undress.

No matter how much he worried about this, the close proximity to Stephen and their lack of clothing found their way to Miles grin and he soon sported an erection.

His thoughts were interrupted when Stephen woke up. His heart nearly stopped when the eyes opened and Stephen looked at him sleepily.

"I... what... how far did we go?" asked Miles nervously.

Stephen popped his head up, "How far would you have wanted to go?"

"Given the fact that I can't remember anything past getting into the bedroom, I'd rather it be not too far. I'd at least like to remember it, considering..." stuttered Miles.

Stephen had trouble following Miles thoughts, "Considering what?"

"Considering I had fantasised about this since forever," admitted Miles, avoiding looking at Stephen.

Stephen pulled Miles face around and offered, "Miles, I can assure you that nothing happened. You fell asleep before that. If you want, we could... I was always tempted, but not sure how you would like my advances."

Instead of an answer, Stephen noticed Miles eyes glaze over and his breath quicken. He most certainly was for it.

Leaning down, Stephen kissed Miles and his hands started wandering over Miles stomach, exploring the other man. It didn't take long for Miles to kiss back and soon after Miles pulled Stephen closer, his hands starting to wander as well.

Stephen rolled them over, so that he was atop Miles while breaking the kiss and placing small butterfly kisses over Miles chin, making his way to the throat.

"Stephen," said Miles breathlessly as their members connected.

Stephen looked up and said, "Shush. Let me take care of you."

Any further protests were silenced with a passionate kiss. Soon after that, he returned to kissing Miles' throat before finally starting his way downwards, paying special attention to Miles' nipples.

When he finally reached his goal, he took the time to admire the perfection. After what appeared to be an eternity, but was in reality only a couple of seconds, he finally took a first taste of Miles. The moans he brought about by simply licking caused him to finally take the cock into his mouth. As he expected they only got louder and Miles' breathing more laboured.

Once again, Miles managed to find the ability to form words, "Stephen... please..."

He hadn't done that in a while, actually not since before his marriage, but he remembered enough to know how it goes.

Feeling the urge to bury himself deep inside his new lover, he asked, "Miles? Where do you keep the lube and condoms?"

"Drawer," muttered Miles after awhile, just as Stephen was about to call his name again.

Stephen crawled up the bed, pulled the drawer open and immediately found the needed items. Grabbing them, he returned to his previous task of sucking on Miles dick as he unscrewed the bottle with one hand and somehow managed to get oil onto his hand. Slowly he started to circle Miles' puckered entrance, never letting go off his cock.

The new sensation was driving Miles wild and he started moving up and down, fucking Stephen's mouth. Not wanting to choke, Stephen used his other hand to keep Miles in place, while pushing his index finger completely in. He continued this until he had three fingers inside the younger man and was satisfied.

Opening one of the condoms, he quickly pulled it over his own aching member and lined himself up. Slowly he pushed his way in, inch by inch. When he was about halfway in, he leaned down so he could kiss Miles, who in return moved just so that Stephen slipped the rest of the way in.

He took his time to get adjusted to the feeling, when he felt Miles moving. He felt the other man moan into his ear, "Please... move..."

Not one to be prompted twice he started moving. Together they met pace for pace until he felt Miles tense beneath him. Stimulated beyond control by the pressure around his cock, he came a few seconds after Miles, screaming the other man's name, just like the younger man had done shortly before. Exhausted they fell apart and Stephen pulled Miles close to his stomach.

Once he had caught his breath again, Stephen said, "Now we sleep some more. No one expects us in today. Thank God it's Sunday."

The End

FIC: The Cure (DA)

2008-03-01T22:52:53Z

Title: The Cure
Author: JE
Summary: Max finally has the cure to the virus only to be face with a surprise couple.
Rating: FRM
Pairing: Alec/Logan, Max/Alec/Logan
Website Link: http://www.geocities.com/immortalje/english/other/cure.html
Notes: I recently got the second season of Dark Angel on DVD and since I was used to being a Max/Logan shipper I couldn't say goodbye to it, despite the Alec/Logan I saw with my slash sight or the Max/Alec that wouldn't leave...
Beta: not beta read

The Cure

Here she had it. The cure. Now Logan and her could touch again, could see where their relationship would end up. Somehow though, she wasn't sure whether she wanted it. Lately she had started to feel attracted to Alec as well. Her feelings for Logan hadn't diminished though. First things first though. She would have to tell Logan.

She went to his loft and entered the usual way. However, instead of hearing the usual tipping from the Computer she could hear moaning. The first thought she normally would have, would be that something happened to him, but it didn't sound like he was in pain. There also had to be someone else.

Max saw them when she entered the living room. They were lying on the couch, kissing heavily. Some part in her broke. It seemed that she was damned to get neither of them. The sight was hot though. The way they were entwined. It still hurt though. It hurt to see them with each other.

She didn't know what to do. Leave them alone? Barge in and see them embarrassed, trying to explain? Would they even be embarrassed? Did it matter?

She watched them, how their hands were wandering over the other's body, how the kisses wandered before finding the other mouth again. As much as she wanted to turn around and go back home, as little could she actually do it. She couldn't break away. She couldn't stop watching them. She still couldn't do it, when Alec noticed her over Logan's shoulder and stopped. Not even when Logan stopped in confusion before turning around and seeing her as well. She was frozen in place. She felt like she should say anything, but nothing was coming out. She could see herself saying something and leaving, but somehow she wasn't able to do that. She couldn't move.

Logan and Alec stood up and came closer. Max still couldn't do anything. She saw them speaking, but all she heard was a rushing sound. Nothing penetrated her.

Alec was touching her and she turned to him, looking at him confused. She didn't know how to react. This wasn't something she knew how to deal with. Somehow Alec's question managed to penetrate her mind. But she didn't know how to answer him. Why was she here again? She could see them getting worried. Alec led her over to the couch and sat down next to her, while Logan sat down in the chair opposite them. They talked again, what about she had no clue. All she knew was that Logan was leaving. Where to she had no idea. Alec pulled her head to the side so she was facing him and asked slowly, "Why are you here? Max? Is everything OK?"

Suddenly her mind started reconnecting.

"I don't know. There was something. I wasn't sure what to do..." started Max before trailing off.

Alec smiled, "Would it help if I kissed you? Although... It might shock you even more. You know, Logan and I. We meant to tell you. Between you not being interested in me and not being able to touch Logan we kind of connected."

"Logan. The virus... I came here because of the virus," remembered Max suddenly.

Alec looked surprised, "What about the virus?"

"I'm not sure... I forgot, I..." Max said.

Suddenly she felt Logan behind her, his hand hovering over her shoulder. It was clear that he was stopping himself from touching her. The virus would kill him. And that's when she remembered.

Max suddenly looked up, "I... I was meeting the doctor. You remember the one we saved a month ago? He worked on the virus. He found the cure."

"That's great," said Alec, but he wasn't really smiling.

Max nodded, "I came because... because I wasn't sure about it. I... Lately I was feeling like I was moving on, but my feelings never diminished. It's like I'm attracted to you two at the same time, without..."

Alec and Logan looked at each other, somehow leading a conversation Max was not privy to. She wondered what they were thinking of. Max only stopped thinking of it when Logan's hand connected with her shoulder and Alec moved closer.

"Ever considered to share? As in the three of us?" asked Alec.

She looked up to Logan and he was nodding.

Max swallowed, "I never..."

"That's OK. So did neither of us, but there is no hurt in trying, is there?" asked Logan.

She shook her head. Before she could say anything else, Alec and Logan were coming closer. Logan was capturing her lips with his, while Alec was exploring her with his hands.

Maybe there was an answer to her attraction to both of them. Though, she never would have thought of this.

The End

FIC: Struggling (NCIS)

2008-03-01T18:00:20Z

Title: Struggling
Author: JE
Summary: They had a plan to get him in their bed, but now one of them is missing
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Abby/Tony, pre Abby/Tony/Gibbs
Website Link: http://www.geocities.com/immortalje/english/other/struggling.html
Warnings: mentions/describes torture
Beta: Bev

Struggling

Prologue

"You want him, admit it!" whispered a husky voice in Abby's ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

Turning around she came face to face with her lover. She was sure she had left him with the others a few minutes ago. She had watched him leave after all, but now he was standing in her personal space, nearly touching her.

Raising an eyebrow in challenge she responded, "And if I want him? What you're gonna do?"

"Suggest to share?" answered Tony in a voice he usually only reserved for the bedroom.

Looking surprised at the man in front of her, Abby answered, "You would? I like the sound of that, Tony. Now, since you're the one who suggested it..."

"Damn! I knew that I was missing something... should have waited until you suggested it," cursed Tony playfully.

Smiling, Abby pulled the conversation to an end, "All you need is patience. How about you go now and start working on it?"

"Who's the impatient one now? I'll see you later," said Tony once again close to her ear before turning around, grabbing to coffee pots that hadn't been standing there earlier and walked out of the lab.

Abby stared at the door for a while before turning back to her current test, smiling to herself.

Neither of them had noticed a smiling Ducky, standing in the background. They didn't need to mention a name for him to know whom they were speaking about, and he thought that it was high time Jethro Gibbs would be getting laid again. He was far too grumpy lately, and Abby and Tony would be tough enough to handle the ex-marine.

Ducky returned to his office, contemplating what kind of plan Tony would come up with and how'd they convince the older man to forget about rule number 12, and most importantly... how long it would take them.

Meanwhile Tony got back to his desk, placing one of the pots he was carrying on Gibbs' empty desk when he passed by, and started on the task he was assigned. He could see Kate's disapproving look for taking so long to return, as well as relief at the coffee he had placed on Gibbs desk, though Tony was sure that he wasn't supposed to see the last bit. He only guessed it because her stare wasn't as intense as usual and the way she let go of her own cup, it must have been short to fall again victim to Gibbs's need for caffeine.

Throwing her one of his charming smiles he continued going through the files in front of him, searching for a connection between the two murders they were currently working on. It wouldn't be wise to make his boss grumpier than usual, especially if he wanted said boss to join Abby and him in bed after all. His thoughts were interrupted when an angry Jethro Gibbs, who'd just returned, asked, "DiNozzo! Where did you go after we left the lab? Don't you have something to do or did you decide to keep Abby from her work?"

"Uhm... no. I went to Ducky to get some coffee, his special Brew. I even got a cup for you," explained Tony, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

He couldn't keep his smile hidden for long when he saw Gibbs's surprise and watched the older man walk over to his desk and get some coffee, calming instantly. Sighing in relief, Tony went back to working on his research and planning. Now if only he knew how to convince Gibbs.

Two hours later Abby called up, informing them that she'd found a match for the DNA, collected at the latest crime scene, while McGee just announced that he found the connection between the victims. Getting the murderer arrested and closing the case was a piece of cake after that.

***

The day was getting better and better for Tony.

Gibbs was in a relatively good mood, the case was closed and nothing could go against him, except maybe if he started it the wrong way. An hour later McGee and Kate left the office, handing in their reports.

Working a bit more on his own, although it was technically already completed, he waited until Gibbs left the room, then he quickly placed a note on his boss' desk that stated a place and time for him to be. He was pretty proud of his plan and certain that it'd work.

When Gibbs came back, he demonstratively finished his report and gave it to his boss. Packing up, he headed outside, calling Abby on his way once he was sure he couldn't be heard, telling her of his plan and where to be.

Closing his cell-phone he left the building and went over to where his car stood. But before he could open it, he was startled by a black van pulling up, stopping with screaming tires, and two men jumping out. The first one attacked him immediately, while the other came up from behind. It didn't take long before he was held by strong arms, someone putting a cloth in front of his face. He tried to struggle free and not to breathe in whatever it contained, but after a while he lost the fight and took refuge in the blackness that overtook him.

***

An hour later found an irritated Abby, waiting in the bar to which Tony had sent Gibbs. She had seen the older Special Agent enter a while ago, but there still wasn't any sign of her lover although he had asked her to meet half an hour earlier.

Deciding that she waited enough she went over to the table Gibbs had chosen.

"Hey, have you seen Tony? He said he'd meet me here half an hour ago but there's still no sign of him," asked Abby.

Gibbs looked her over curiously, wondering why she'd meet Tony before answering, "He left the office around an hour ago. But when I left his car was still there. I thought he went to one of the bars there before heading home."

"That's strange. He... We... Damn, he was supposed to be here and do the talking, but he's not... and I'm starting to worry about him missing, he planned it after all... Gibbs, I think something is wrong with this situation," responded Abby.

Eyebrows raised Gibbs asked, "Are you saying that Tony left me the note about the meeting at this bar?"

"Yes. And he wouldn't have chickened out of this. He'd have informed me," rambled Abby on.

Gibbs sighed, "I have no clue what you're talking about, Abs. I don't know what you planned to do and I hope you're going to tell me as soon as we find him. No lies, half truth or distractions, the plain truth!"

"Promised," nodded Abby her understanding.

"Okay. Now let's check Tony's car," continued the ex-Marine. With that both stood up and went to the counter, paying for their drinks before leaving the bar and returning to the NCIS Headquarter.

***

Tony's car was the only one remaining on the parking lot in front of the building.

Gibbs was about to head into the building, just in case Tony had come back to fetch something, when Abby called, "Gibbs! Something must have happened to Tony. He'd never leave his car keys lying on the floor in front of his car."

Gibbs ran back to the car and looked at the spot the Goth pointed at. It was not difficult to recognise the bunch of keys Tony usually carried around. He had seen the other man fumbling with it often enough after all.

A look on the street revealed skid marks right next to the car. Possible scenarios started up in his mind, showing him what this could mean, none of them were pleasant and he felt a knot forming in his gut, making him sick. He was startled out of his thoughts by Abby who was holding a piece of paper in her hands, hands protected by the sleeves of her shirt.

"I think you should read this," said the lab rat in a strangled voice.

Walking over and reading the text on the paper that was held out for him to read, he paled when the words sank in and started making sense.

>>
If you want to see him again, you better do what we say.

An Eye for an Eye,
A Friend for a Friend,
A Life for a Life.

<<

The text didn't leave much to interpret, but Gibbs knew that they had to find the younger man before the warning in this note became true.

"Where did you find it?" asked Gibbs, suppressing all emotions.

Abby looked up startled before recalling what he had asked and pointing to the windshield and the windshield wiper that was pulled up.

Nodding, Gibbs instructed, "Stay here. I'll go in, call the others and fetch something so we scan start to process the car and everything else."

Abby only nodded, her gaze returning to the paper she was holding, still shocked at the thought that she might loose her lover.

Chapter 1

Half an hour later, Kate and McGee joined them, slightly shocked at what they had been told and helped them process everything. Or at least they helped Gibbs. Abby hadn't moved at all, still staring at the note she was holding.

Both looked at Abby every now and again, wondering what was wrong with her, while Gibbs only checked whether she was still standing there and wasn't about to faint.

This was getting weirder from second to second. First of all, Abby and Tony apparently met outside of work. The hints he had gotten from her at the bar and now this spoke a clear language. He didn't know how to breach the subject though. Calling himself to attention, Gibbs concentrated on looking for more evidence that would point to Tony's kidnapper.

Two hours after they had found the note Gibbs called the search to an end, deciding that they wouldn't find anything else in the dark and that they'd continue in the morning.

He thought it might be better if Abby wasn't alone right now and he wanted some answers, so Gibbs sent Kate and McGee home.

Taking the note from Abby, he bagged and tagged it and put it to the other evidence they had collected. Once everything was secured he went to the Goth and gently led her to his car, helping her get into the passengers seat. Getting into the car himself, he started it and drove to his place.

***

When they arrived there half an hour later, he helped Abby out of the car and led her to the door. She didn't react to anything but his gentle steering and Gibbs doubted that she even realised that he hadn't driven her to where she lived.

He was startled when she suddenly reacted and picked something off the door with a muttered "Oh God", before she sank to the floor sobbing, clutching what appeared to be a Polaroid to her stomach.

Irritated, he knelt down next to her and asked her to show him the picture. When she still didn't react after a few moments, he tried to pry the picture from her hands and after a few more seconds he held it in his hands. The picture shocked him and he felt sick.

The picture showed a bruised Tony, chained to a wall. To Gibbs relief he was alive which meant that they hadn't done too much damage yet. He turned it around another message on it.

>>

This is just the beginning.

>>

It didn't calm him in any way to read this, wondering when the picture had been attached to his door and what they were doing to Tony now. He unlocked the door, picked Abby up, and carried her to his spare bedroom. What she needed now was time to rest, to cool down, to let this settle in.

When he wanted to leave again, he was halted by Abby holding his wrist, not letting him go.

"Please stay. I don't want to be alone," asked the Goth in small voice.

Sighing, he sat down on the bed and pulled the young woman into his arms. He felt awkward doing it, but when Abby didn't struggle he decided that this was what she needed. He only hoped she didn't expect more from him as he wasn't sure whether he could give any more comfort. It wasn't something he was good at.

After a while Abby broke the silence by saying quietly, "I miss him already. What will I do if he..."

"Tony's too tough to die. I'm sure we'll have him back real soon and he can brag about all his dates again," interrupted Gibbs her.

He was surprised when he felt her shaking her head, "He's making that up to annoy Kate. He thinks she's too uptight and needs more fun in her life. He wouldn't do that to me."

"What do you mean to you? Are you saying that..." asked Gibbs wide awake.

He felt Abby snuggling closer and when she answered he could barely make out what she said, "If you're asking whether we're dating than yes we are... have been since before Kate joined the team."

Staying silent, Gibbs' thoughts were running wild. First Tony wanted to meet him in a bar, then Abby came and told him that he was missing and now this. He saw his chances with Tony disappear, but at the very least it meant that the younger man wouldn't be leaving any time soon and it wasn't as if he'd ever have acted on his feelings. He knew how bad everything ended up that he started, concerning relationship. For now he'd concentrate on getting him back alive, for Abby's sake. It'd have to be enough for him to see the younger man and the Goth getting happy together.

Now if only he knew what the two had planned on doing tonight if Tony hadn't been kidnapped...

After some time he realised that Abby had fallen asleep and gently he untangled himself, tucking the Abby in carefully.

Dejected, he went to the bathroom and prepared himself for bed. Ten minutes later he was ready and made sure that the doors to the bedrooms were open so he could hear if Abby needed him and shut off the light, hoping that he wouldn't be haunted with nightmares about what Tony could be going through.

***

When Gibbs woke the next morning, he was surprised to find a black head lying on his chest, before everything came back to him. Apparently Abby had woken again and decided to crawl into his bed. He carefully pulled out from under her and went to the bathroom, preparing for the day.

When he was finished, he checked up on the still sleeping woman, before heading to the kitchen and preparing coffee - extra strong - and something edible for Abby. He figured that she'd need something after last night. He only hoped that she would be able to pull herself together as her skills more than once had helped to close a case.

Having finished the breakfast, he set everything on the table and sat down in one of the chairs, his cup of coffee close by, and closed his eyes. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he was scared to death. He didn't know what he'd do without Tony and, the way things looked right now, without Abby as well. If she reacted that way just when the other man was kidnapped he didn't want to think what would happen if they found him dead... not that he himself would have much reason left to live.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard Abby enter the room. She was still dressed in the clothes from the day before and she didn't look as if she had gotten any rest at all. When Gibbs offered her breakfast she shook her head.

"You need to eat something. What'll Tony say if he finds out that you haven't been taking care of yourself?" tried Gibbs.

Reluctantly the Goth took a seat and started picking on her food, eating at least a little bit. She looked far from her usual cheerful self, rather like death warmed over. Gibbs could honestly say that he'd never seen her being this sad. Hell, he never had seen her anything but cheery.

When Abby pushed the plate away, indicating that she was finished, he said, "Let's go back to the office and look through the evidence. Maybe we can find something that leads us to whoever took Tony."

Abby only nodded and stood up, not even caring to put the dishes away. Deciding that he didn't care as well, Gibbs fetched the picture they had found the previous evening and motioned Abby to follow him. Silently, each of them deeply lost in their thoughts, they left the house.

***

When they entered the office, they found Kate already working on a list why Tony could have been kidnapped. She looked up at them, asking with only her eyes whether things were going to be OK or not.

"He's still alive. At least he was when this was taken. It was attached to my front door," answered Gibbs with a stern voice, but his eyes showed his worry.

Kate only nodded and said, "I decided to check if Tony stepped on anyone's toes. But considering the way the message we got is written, I'd say that it is most probably case related."

Gibbs nodded, headed to his place and started the computer before he turned around and looked at Abby. She was standing in the middle of the bullpen and looked sadly at Tony's desk.

Sighing Gibbs went back to Abby and said, "Come on. We'll go downstairs and check if Ducky is already in. I'll inform you as soon as we have a lead."

He wasn't sure whether the woman had heard him or not, but when he turned her around to face the elevator she moved without him needing to push her. It made him confident that she could be at work without falling apart, or else he would have needed to find someone that could watch over her at home. This way he could ask Ducky to keep an eye on her.

Chapter 2

When they arrived in the lab a few minutes later Gibbs pushed Abby into her chair and told her to stay there before he went to the morgue and looked for Ducky.

It didn't take long for him to actually find the coroner and before he could say anything he was told, "Now if you want to get some of my coffee you'll actually have to wait until I settled in and can start the machine."

"Ducky, I'm not here for coffee. I'm here about Abby. DiNozzo went missing yesterday and she took it pretty hard. I let her spent the night at my place as she doesn't seem to notice what goes on around her. Apparently they are dating since before Kate joined us. I hope that taking her to work in order to distract herself would be helpful. But just in case... I need you to keep an eye on her," responded Jethro.

Ducky's eyes widened, "Anthony's gone missing? That doesn't sound to well. Of course I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thanks, Duck. I promised her to send info as soon as we know something new. I'll be going upstairs again and check if Kate and McGee have something already," said Jethro, before turning around and leaving the room.

Ducky finished his work and went over to Abby's lab. Seeing her sitting in her chair, looking sad and miserable, holding a picture and staring at it, Ducky decided to do something.

"Abigail, why don't you start working on the evidence? Here, let me help you," said the coroner and took all fingerprints that had been collected and placed them on the table in front of the Goth, "Why don't you start with the fingerprints? Scan them in and let them run through. It's not much to do and if you want to talk I'll be in morgue."

Ducky could see that Abby wasn't sure about not looking at the picture as if it would be a form of betrayal, but she started the task nonetheless. Satisfied that the young woman was alright for now, he returned to his own territory.

Some time later, for all Abby cared it could have been minutes or hours, McGee entered the room with a sympathetic look. He stopped for a moment and watched the miserable young woman who was holding a picture - from his position he had a more or less good view and saw that it showed Abby and Tony together, laughing - and on the computer in front of her were fingerprints changing quickly, searching for a match for the few they had found.

Taking a deep breath he ventured further into the room and asked, "How are you?"

For a moment he thought that she hadn't heard him, but after a while she looked up at him and he could see that she must have cried at some point. It surprised him, although he had known about Tony and Abby being together - knew it from the moment Abby had agreed to go on a date with him - but he hadn't thought that their feelings ran so deep.

"We found a piece of cotton lying under the car. It was drenched with chloroform as far as Gibbs could smell it. He'll send it down with some more evidence later on," McGee continued when Abby remained silent, "He thinks he has some other leads as well and we're going to check them out. I'll tell you when we find anything useful."

Before he could say anything else, Kate entered the room.

"Gibbs sent me to call you. He wants to go and check this out now. What's this?"

At the last bit Kate took the picture Abby held in her hand and looked it over.

"You let Tony get this close? I'm sure all he wanted to do was to get close and get off on it. It's all he can do after all," continued Kate when he saw the picture of Tony whispering something into Abby's ear with a big grin.

Without a second notice Abby grabbed the picture and said angrily, "That's your opinion, but you don't know a thing about him."

"Sure, I don't know him. I just have the desk right next to his and have to listen to his bragging all the time," responded Kate.

Abby snorted, "Well, if you're so blind I can't help you. Can't you see that Tony acts most of the time? Or do you truly believe everything he says?"

This got Kate to shut up and silence settled once more until and angry Gibbs entered the room.

"Is this a hen party or what? I can remember sending you down here to fetch McGee and not to argue, Kate," said the ex-marine with some force.

Both McGee and Kate jumped and started to follow him out of the room, when Tim suddenly turned around again and hugged Abby, whispering, "We'll find him. Don't worry."

She watched him hurrying after Kate and Gibbs and continued staring at the door for a while. With a sigh she returned her attention to the picture she was holding, tears pouring down her face once again. She was only interrupted when the computer in front of her beeped, showing her that a matching print was found on the Database.

***

The lead, the trio had had, quickly turned out to be a ruse while giving them an insight into Tony's private life neither McGee nor Kate had really wanted. Gibbs didn't let his surprise show although it opened a whole new venue he hadn't expected to be faced with.

It all started with a still unread e-mail send to Tony with the subject 'You will pay for your sins'. At the time it had sounded like a warning, but when they arrived at the residence of Christina Small, the sender, it had turned out that she was leading a Fetish Club where couples could live out their fantasies - from spanking with a paddle over bondage to quite painful experiences - and had invited all members to an exclusive party with a fitting e-mail.

Gibbs surmised that they might have forgone this embarrassment if he'd have asked Abby as she most surely knew about this. She had mentioned a fascination with all things not normal in this regard. This false lead also meant that they didn't have anything else left to follow.

Meanwhile Abby was busy printing out everything she could find on Michael Summers - the owner of the matching fingerprint - with growing horror. He was suspected to have killed an officer and a retired investigator in the last two months before disappearing. There was no connection between both and none she knew about between them and Tony aside from the fact that Tony used to work in Baltimore and the previous two victims lived there.

She was startled out of her thoughts by Ducky who was suddenly standing behind her.

"Don't you think it's time to solve this? Whatever game Tony and you had planned to play with Gibbs isn't anything to joke about. Especially sending him and the others to a Fetish Club; what were the two of you thinking?"

"Ducky, I don't know what you're..." started Abby shocked. She was nervous when she realised that Ducky had never before looked at her in this disapproving manner when he continued, "Don't play dumb. I overheard you and Tony planning to woo Jethro."

"We didn't plan this! Tony's plan was to get Gibbs as drunk as possible before telling him, in case he decided he didn't like his advances. This has nothing to do with it!" said Abby for a moment forgetting the dire situation.

Ducky's face turned forgiving instantly, "In that case I'm sorry for accusing you, but you have to understand that it looked suspicious."

"You know that I'm not so good at acting, especially not the distressed girlfriend kind of act," said Abby sadly.

Before anything else could be said Gibbs entered the room and by the looks of it he must have overheard the conversation, surmised the Abby.

With a raised eyebrow, promising an inquisition later on, Gibbs said, "I take it you already heard that the lead ended up being nothing. Do you have anything on the fingerprints already?"

"One of them came back to belong to Michael Summers. He's suspected to have killed two persons in Baltimore. The others are still running through," explained Abby, not facing the ex-Marine, "I checked out anything I could find on him, but there isn't much else. The two victims are a police officer and a pretty successful investigator who retired last year. No visible connection."

Chapter 3

"McGee will cross-reference their cases. We're thinking that it might be related to a case. Abby, I want you to check whether Summers or anyone he knew was involved with the police, possibly Summers himself," said Gibbs, before turning around and heading back upstairs.

Abby didn't even watch him go. If this man had anything to do with Tony's disappearing she'd have to find out as much as possible. She couldn't bear the thought of loosing him, when they had just planned to get Gibbs into this. Still she was tempted to return looking at the picture of Tony and her and ignore the search she was supposed to do.

Calling herself to order, Abby focused on the screen in front of her, wrote a message to McGee with the names of the two victims before continuing her research.

Meanwhile Gibbs arrived at his desk, stopping himself from asking McGee if he already found something, reminding himself that the other man couldn't have the names that long yet.

He hadn't been sitting for a minute when a messenger appeared in front of his desk and asked, "Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Yes?" asked the ex-Marine annoyed.

The man obviously heard the unvoiced threat for his voice was shaking slightly when he continued, "Package for you."

Within a minute he had signed his name and taken the 'package'. Upon closer inspection it was merely a larger envelope with his name neatly written on it. This made him falter. He knew that handwriting. Within seconds he had the notes at hand they had found and indeed it was the same.

"Who sent this?" asked Gibbs the messenger who was still standing in front of his desk.

With a shaky voice the messenger answered, "I don't know. I only get the packages and the address where it's going to. All I know is that I should give this only to you, no one else."

"Give me the number of your central," ordered Gibbs, making clear that he didn't expect anything less than the number.

The messenger in return looked as if he was prepared to run at any given moment. However he took the paper and pen offered and wrote the number down before leaving as fast as he could without running.

Not waiting any second longer, Gibbs ordered, "Kate, find out what they know about the sender."

Not waiting for an answer, Gibbs pulled on a pair of latex-gloves, opened the letter and turned it upside down. As a result a tape and another note landed on his desk. For a second he wondered whether he should read the note first or take a look at the tape first. In the end the note won out and he turned it around. It contained once again a to the point note and it send shivers down Gibbs' spine.

>>

You're too slow.

>>

It was as if the kidnapper was playing with them.

Sighing, Gibbs looked up to find that Kate was still talking on the phone and McGee was throwing him glimpses every now and again, or more precise the tape in front of him. He contemplated for a second to watch it right here on the big screen standing next to Tony's table, before he reminded himself how Tony had looked like in the picture they had been given and he doubted that he'd look any better on the tape.

Deciding to use the closest conference room that included a VCR, he signalled McGee to follow him, indicating that Kate should follow as soon as she had the information he wanted.

As suspected, the Tony on the tape was in worse condition than he had been in when the picture had been taken. He was still chained to the wall, and now they could see that it belonged to a large and high room due to the angle the camera was hold. The amount of bruises had doubled and he could see several blood trails from scars. Gibbs didn't realise he let out a sigh when Tony moved and moaned in obvious pain, proving that he was still alive. He could also see that some of the ribs appeared to be damaged, though he didn't know for sure as it could have been the angle playing tricks on his eyes.

After having assured himself that the other man was still alive he checked the surroundings some more. He could see the sun behind one of the windows, signalling that wherever this was filmed it was either facing east or west, depending on the time it was taped.

"McGee, find out when this was filmed and look for any other hints that could give us a clue as to where they might hold him," ordered Gibbs.

Before McGee could say anything, the ex-Marine added, "And make sure that Abby won't see this. She doesn't need to know how bad he looks."

"Yes... uhm... about the cases both deceased men worked on together in Baltimore. I didn't get far yet..." started McGee nervously, gazing at the back of the other man.

Gibbs didn't turn around or took his hand of the door he was about to open, when he replied, "Send Abby what you came up with so far, she'll take care of it."

Gibbs nearly collided with Kate when he returned to his desk. Raising a brow, asking without words what she got he continued his way to his chair.

"They don't know much about the sender. The package was dropped off at the central at exactly 9:33 this morning, paid in cash. No name, no address. All they could tell us was that it was a man, tanned skin, dark hair, around 30," explained Kate, throwing Gibbs a questioning glance in return.

Without looking up, Gibbs responded, "You don't want to see it. He's alive, but worse off than on the picture we received last night."

Meanwhile Abby had broadened her research to the family members of Michael Summers. It revealed that his parents died in the early 90s and his sister, along with her husband, was shot in 2001; nothing that could give her any clues as to why he was suddenly involved in a murder case. Her concentration was broken by the usual ping of a mail arriving.

She wondered why after only half an hour she got the task of cross referencing the cases that Gibbs had given to McGee, but shrugged it of. Maybe he was given something else to research. Giving up on Michael Summers for a while, she worked through the cases of the other two victims.

Half an hour later, she had just marked another case that both the police officer and the investigator had in common, Abby stocked on the name. It was screaming at her, but she wasn't sure why. She stared at it, begging it silently to tell her what it wanted to say, without much success, when she grabbed for her coffee. Abby was surprised at the missing weight of the coffee, thus using to much force to lift the cup and causing a few papers to flutter down.

Stooping down to collect the papers, she was faced with the answer to her question. The two main victims of a case concerning a mob were the sister and brother-in-law of Michael Summers. A few more checks also revealed that Tony had handled this case shortly before joining NCIS, which also had been present due to the death of a Petty Officer.

Now they had a real lead. Acting purely on instinct, Abby checked out whether Michael Summers had left any traces leading them to a possible location and it didn't take her long to find a warehouse he had rented shortly before the first murder.

Ignoring anything else, she printed the result and nearly ran to the elevator.

At the same time McGee had returned to his place with the tape and reported, "The view on the room and the lack of machines indicate that it is most probably a warehouse, possibly empty due to the sounds echoing hollowly. I also discovered hints of red in the visible sky, narrowing it down to either dusk or dawn and with the slightly orange colour I'd say dawn as dusk has a touch into pink..."

"Do you have a more exact location? There have to be hundreds of warehouse around DC," exclaimed Gibbs

Whatever McGee was about to say in response it was interrupted by Abby storming down the steps and nearly running over to Gibbs' desk.

"Michael Summers' sister and brother-in-law, Sarah and Joe Tanner, were killed shortly before they could give testimony in a case against a mob boss in 2001. They witnessed him killing a Petty Officer who had been bribed to let them on base, but had suddenly tried pulling out. Naturally NCIS was involved and it was one of Tony's last cases in Baltimore before he started working here. Both, the police officer and the investigator, had been involved as well. He also rented a warehouse, close to the harbour of DC," exclaimed Abby without taking a breath in between, while handing the paper she was holding to Gibbs.

The ex-Marine looked down and upon finding an address on it, announced, "McGee, Kate we're heading there right now. Well done, Abby. We'll tell you as soon as we know something."

Chapter 4

An hour later, the three NCIS Agents stood in front of the warehouse, along with a unit specialised in storming buildings. It was eerily silent before the signal was giving for the unit to enter the warehouse and within a minute they had it secured.

When Gibbs entered with Kate and McGee following close behind, he came upon a completely empty room. There was no sign of either the kidnappers or Tony. Without a word spoken they swarmed out and searched for any traces that would indicate that their friend had been held hostage in this room.

It was Kate who found something ten minutes later. A hook in the wall, maybe one and half to two feet above her head, and several scuff marks had drawn her attention.

She called the others over and pointed out what she had found. A closer looked also revealed blood stains on the wall and the floor.

"If this is indeed where they kept Tony, then they must have moved," surmised Kate.

Gibbs nodded and said, "My guess would be that they moved as soon as they sent the tape. They must have known that we'll be able to find them with the help of it. Maybe they wanted us to find this. I remember hearing that the witnesses were moved around a lot until the mob found them and tortured them to death."

"So in a way Tony represents his sister and / or his brother-in-law, only he's reversing the roles. Instead of the officers staying with the 'witness', we're trying to find them before Tony is tortured to death," concluded Kate.

McGee continued, "Or he thinks of himself as the protector and just like it had been with his sister and brother-in-law he will fail like the officers protecting them will. The only difference is that he's both."

"Then let's hope that we'll find Tony faster then the Baltimore Police took to find their witnesses and he hasn't been tortured to death yet," surmised Gibbs, "Collect any evidence you can find. I'll go back to the lab and tell Abby what we found. The blood needs to be tested to make sure that it's Tony's."

Kate quickly took several samples and handed them to Gibbs before returning to photographing the scene.

Once back at headquarters, Gibbs went directly to Abby's lab and entered without knocking. He found her collecting more information about Michael Summers.

She startled when Gibbs said, "The warehouse was empty, but we found evidence that Tony might have been there. Got some blood samples as well, to make sure that it's his and not someone else's."

"Blood? But he wasn't..." said Abby surprised.

Gibbs sighed and said gently, "It's not much, at least not an amount that would be deadly, but there is some."

Abby reluctantly took the swabs and headed to the other end of the room where the needed machine stood.

"Are there any other places Summers has access to?" asked Gibbs while shifting through the papers on Abby's desk.

When she didn't answer, Gibbs thought that she hadn't heard him and was about to repeat his question only to be interrupted by Abby, "Aside from his house in Baltimore? None. And the house is in the middle of a quiet neighbourhood. He wouldn't be able to keep this a secret there."

Gibbs nodded in silent agreement although the Goth couldn't see him.

"I wrote down the numbers of the Detectives working on the case in Baltimore, so you can share information," added Abby after a while.

Once again the ex-Marine nodded and said, "I'll do that right now until Kate and McGee return."

"The note should be on top of the table if you didn't mix anything up," explained Abby.

Gibbs didn't say anything in response, but shuffled through the papers, trying to find the note he had ignored when he had gone through them a few moments ago. Once he had found it, he threw one last look at Abby and headed out of the lab.

An hour later Gibbs had been assured the help of the Baltimore Police Department in regards to sharing what they knew so far, although that wasn't as much information as he had hoped it would be. Though they had agreed to check out Summers' residence, in case that there could be anything helpful. For now he knew that Tony had been held at the Warehouse for sure. The test had come back a quarter hour ago.

He had also re-read the original case and surmised that the reason Tony had been kidnapped instead of being killed immediately was that the younger Agent was the one that convinced the witnesses to testify in court, while the other two were only responsible for the investigation.

Gibbs' musings were interrupted by the arrival of Kate and McGee.

"We dropped the evidence off at the lab. Abby is looking through it as we speak," explained Kate.

The ex-Marine simply nodded and said, "Baltimore PD is going to check Summers' house and agreed to share any and all information they have. It isn't much, but it might give us the help we need. Other than that, Tony had definitely been in that warehouse. Unfortunately there is not other possible location available to Summers that we know about. McGee, check if you can find something. Kate, you go over the case files and look for anything that might be of use."

Without another word Gibbs stood up, grabbed the tape and headed to the elevators.

Within a few minutes Gibbs arrived in the morgue and headed straight to where he knew Ducky most probably could be found. It didn't take long for him to find the older man and before he could be questioned about anything, he asked, "Ducky? We got a tape of Tony and I want to know, from the look of the injuries, how serious it is. Also, no word to Abby please; this isn't something she should see."

They went to a nearby TV that was connected to a VCR and watched the tape. To Gibbs it hadn't lost any of it's ghastliness in comparison to the first time he had seen it several hours ago.

Ducky himself didn't let any emotions emerge while the taped played, but when he answered Gibbs' question he lacked his usual talkativeness.

"As far as I can see there are no grave injuries, but one shouldn't underestimate the combination of smaller ones. The angle makes it difficult to give you a precise diagnosis. There might be a few problems with his ribs, but this could be due to the fact that he's hung higher than he is tall. I can't really say much aside from the fact that there aren't any visible life threatening injuries there yet."

Gibbs merely nodded in return, "It's good to know. That gives us some time, though we don't know how much, considering that they moved him."

"That it does, at least emotionally," nodded Ducky absently.

Without another word Gibbs turned around, taking the tape with him again and headed out of the door silently. Ducky remained and sighed. So much to his hope of having Jethro Gibbs relax somewhat. He only hoped that this would have a happy ending. He hated to think about how things would turn out if Tony couldn't be saved in time.

When Gibbs arrived back in the bullpen, Kate jumped up and said, "Detective Carlsberg from Baltimore PD called. They didn't find anything in the house that could give us hints about Tony's new location. However, they found the number of Steve Tanner on number 1 speed dial. Steve and Joe Tanner were brothers."

"Check if Steve Tanner has any houses, warehouses, etc. that could be used. Maybe they're working together," ordered Gibbs.

He could feel that both Agents were curious about where he went, but none of them seemed willing to ask. Thus he decided to just ignore it and concentrated on the task at hand, namely finding Tony.

20 minutes later Kate announced, "Steve Tanner owns a warehouse halfway between Baltimore and DC."

"Inform Detective Carlsberg and we'll be heading out. Tony better be there, Abby seems to be getting on track for now, but I don't want to find out how many dead ends we have to hit before it gets worse again," ordered Gibbs while grabbing his phone.

Within a short time he had another unit ready to storm a second warehouse which hopefully wasn't empty.

Chapter 5

Once again they stood in front of a warehouse, worried about what they would find inside. 'Did they move to another location again?' and 'How seriously is Tony injured?' were only two questions among many the little group was asking themselves.

Ten minutes later everyone was in position and the signal was given for everyone to storm the building. Gibbs, Kate and McGee followed close by, guns at the ready, staying out of the way

As soon as Gibbs' eyes had adjusted to the dark surroundings of the building, he scanned the room they were in. It didn't take the ex-marine long to find what he was searching for.

Tony was chained to the wall close to the corner furthest from where they had entered the room. He wasn't moving or reacting to their presence at all.

A quick glance to the commotion that caught his interest, Gibbs was satisfied to see both of Tony's tormentors being wrestled down and arrested. Relieved that he didn't have to take care of that matter, he lowered his gun and hurried over to where the other man was hanging, followed closely by Kate and McGee.

Before he was even close enough to touch Tony, he had already spotted where the chains that held the other Agent up were anchored.

Not caring who followed his command, Gibbs barked, "Hold DiNozzo while I lower him."

He put his gun away mid-step and gripped the chain, unhooking it and with an eye on Tony, who was held by Kate and McGee he let the chain move slowly upwards, lowering DiNozzo in the process.

As soon as he was lying on the ground Gibbs hooked the chain back on the anchor while Kate was working on removing the chain from a still unconscious Tony. Gibbs pushed McGee out of his way and checked the other man over. He let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding when he felt a weak, but steady pulse.

He heard McGee in the background calling an ambulance and prayed that Tony would keep up until they arrived, while checking for obvious injuries that needed to be taken care of.

To his relief, Gibbs could only find small cuts and what appeared to be whip marks that were clotted over already. There were no wounds that needed immediate tending, which meant that none of the visible wounds actually were critical. Now he only had to hope that among the many bruises visible were none that hid inner bleedings or other injuries. He was no expert on this after all and his training only included the most routine first aid like dressing up wounds and possibly setting a broken bone until it could be looked after.

After what felt like forever, Gibbs finally heard the sirens indicating the arrival of an ambulance. Several minutes later McGee returned, followed by several paramedics with a stretcher. More out of instinct than anything else he stepped back and let the men do their job. He longed to kneel back down and hold Tony's hand, not caring that the other man was still unconscious and wouldn't feel it anyway.

It didn't take long for the paramedics to declare Tony fit for travel and once Gibbs had their destination, he hurried to his car; McGee and Kate close behind him. He barely heard McGee stutter, "I called Abby and told her that we found him."

Gibbs nodded, although he didn't really hear it. His mind was set on fetching Abby and driving with her to the hospital as fast as possible.

He nodded absentmindedly, when Kate announced that she and McGee would remain at the office and report to Director Morris before following them to the hospital.

He didn't care that he was breaking several speed laws on his way to NCIS headquarters, but he noticed that both Kate and McGee looked slightly grey around the edges when he finally came to a halt. He waited patiently for a bouncing Abby to jump into his car. It didn't take long for her to be serious and ask him the question he dreaded most, "How is he?"

"I couldn't see any injuries that were life-threatening, but I can't say anything about those not visible," answered Gibbs shortly.

He noticed Abby nodding in the corner of his eye, keeping his eyes on the street while weaving his way through the traffic.

They spent the rest of the ride in silence and once Gibbs had parked his car they practically ran into the emergency room. Gibbs asked the first nurse he met for information and was directed to the waiting area with the information that Tony was currently in surgery and that a doctor would inform him as soon as possible.

The next hour was pure hell for Gibbs, and Abby wasn't helping in any way. In fact, her restless pacing was slowly driving him crazy. Having enough of this he ordered her to sit down and now that they had finally found Tony he demanded an explanation; anything to keep him from going insane with worry. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

Abby stared down at her hands when she slowly and almost hesitantly began to talk.

"Tony and I... our relationship is pretty open and... well, I knew from the beginning that Tony's actually bisexual and we occasionally are involved in a threesome at the club Ducky told me you went to. Had I known I would have warned you, I swear! Anyway, I thought about possibly asking you to join us, but wasn't sure about how to ask Tony until he asked me in the lab the day he was kidnapped. He offered to share and I knew that this would mean as long as you want to be with us. It was obvious that we both wanted the same, namely for you to join us. Since Tony brought it up, he was the one that had to come up with a plan to convince you to join us, if not in a relationship than at least for one night. His plan was to invite you to a drink and once you had drunk something, I was supposed to join and we'd give you the offer together. Only, as you know, we never got to that point," explained Abby nervously, stealing glances at Gibbs every now and again.

To say that Jethro Gibbs was stunned would have been an understatement. Sure, it had been more or less obvious at the beginning, but he hadn't been able to really believe it. He thought that he would have loved to see Tony and Abby trying to pull that one on him. He was sure that it would have been highly amusing.

He noticed Abby fidgeting in her seat and was tempted for a second to let her worry about this for a while, but with Tony still being in surgery he found that he didn't want to be that cruel.

"We'll talk about this when he's awake. I never considered a threesome, but I admit that some attraction is present," Gibbs could see some of the tension leave the Goth's body in relief.

Shortly after that, the silence between them was broken by the arrival of first Kate and McGee, followed by Ducky, and then by a doctor.

After verifying that everyone present was allowed to hear the news, the doctor started, "There was some minor damage to his right kidney, which should heal just fine, and some inner bleeding. Luckily, it was only a minor blood vessel, which reduced the amount of blood lost in comparison to any major one. Otherwise his chances for survival would have been minimal. As it is, his chances are very good and he will be transferred to his own room in the next minutes where you can visit him. He woke up shortly on the ambulance and once the narcotics wear off completely he should wake up on his own again."

Gibbs sighed in relief and he could see Abby being hugged by an equally relieved Ducky. McGee and Kate also looked like an enormous weight had been lifted off their shoulders.

Together they made their way upstairs to the station they were told that Tony would be transferred to and as soon as the nurses had him settled in the room they were allowed to visit.

Gibbs was prepared for the sight and was not surprised by the many bandages he saw, but he was keeping an eye out for Abby, who had yet to lay an eye on her lover.

As he had predicted the Goth gasped and nearly ran over to the bed Ton was occupying. He could hear the quite sobs Abby produced at the sight and without a word offered her some comfort. How did the saying go? The things that don't kill us, will make us stronger? Gibbs was sure that this would apply to Tony and Abby, and if he would feel generous, he would say that it would apply for himself as well.

When the realization of what Abby had told him had finally sunken in, he hadn't been sure what to say. Sure, there was enough attraction towards Tony and he could see the appeal in Abby, but he wasn't sure whether he could cope with both of them at the same time. Sitting here now at Tony's hospital bed, holding Abby; he was suddenly sure that this would be the right thing to do, that they fit together just perfectly. In fact, he suddenly was sure that they would complement each other just perfectly. The only thing missing now was an awake Tony DiNozzo.

Gibbs was so emerged in his thoughts that he neither noticed the presence of his co-workers nor did he notice them leave. All he noticed was Abby in his arms and the warm skin of Tony's hand that he wasn't aware he was holding.

Epilogue

Tony woke up several hours later and after being assured that he was safe, as well as that Gibbs had been told about their interrupted plan (which Abby had spurted out once the silence had started creeping her out), he started to question when he would be released.

It took a week before the hospital staff decided that he was healed enough to leave the hospital, although he wasn't allowed to return to work for another 2 weeks.

Meanwhile Gibbs had made sure that neither Tony nor Abby would ever be told what kind of weapons they had found at the warehouse. Most of them had not yet been used and the ex-marine shuddered to think what would have happened had they arrived a little later. Most of them had would have been deadly on their own if only used for an extended time. They had also found a second tape, this time with the torture on it. He made sure that McGee and Kate kept silent about this. It was easy enough to explain why he didn't want Abby to see it and after a while the other Agents had agreed that Tony was better off not knowing that he was taped at the worst time in his life. He didn't need to be reminded of what he had gone through.

Pushing these thoughts aside, Gibbs straightened his shirt and knocked at the door. Seeing how their plan had been ruined, Abby and Tony had decided to invite him to a home-cooked dinner, considering that Tony wasn't allowed to walk around much yet.

Gibbs couldn't help but feel apprehensive, as neither of his hosts fit into the type of gourmet cook. Then again both had surprised him occasionally, why not in this as well. He only hoped that he wouldn't come to regret this.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he knocked on the door. Not a second later the door was pulled open forcefully, revealing Abby, dressed in her usual clothes.

"Good. We already feared that you would never knock," said Abby cheerfully before opening the door wider, allowing Gibbs to enter.

Without a second thought he was led to the living room where they had set a table for three and Gibbs had to admit that the food smelled delicious.

Before he could ask Abby anything, she disappeared in what he assumed was the kitchen. He had to smile when he heard Abby scolding Tony about carrying the food over. A few moments later Tony emerged from the kitchen, scowling, followed by Abby who was carrying a large bowl with pasta and sauce.

While they were eating they talked about a wide range of topics and Gibbs found out that he actually had more in common with them than he had originally thought. Once he was finished, he said, "This was really good. Where did you get the receipt from?"

"My grandmother. She taught me how to cook. She always said that I shouldn't forget my roots. Then again she immigrated with her family when she was ten," explained Tony.

Gibbs made a mental note to remember that. Who knew what else the other man was able to cook.

His thoughts were interrupted when Tony continued, "Maybe I should have thought of that. I think my first plan was really stupid and to be honest, I'm glad I didn't have to test just how stupid it was. Although I could have gone without the torture and the stay at the hospital afterwards."

Gibbs couldn't stop himself from smiling. This was typical for Tony DiNozzo and he wondered how he was to survive without this for another week at work. He only hoped that Tony would receive the go to return to work at his next check-up.

Without many words they moved over to the couch with a glass of brandy for digestion, continuing their earlier conversation.

It was Abby who finally brought the talk to the topic at hand, "So how would you like to go on with this? Start slowly, one step at a time or jump right into the middle?"

By her expression, Gibbs knew which one she would prefer and Tony seemed to be just as willing. To his surprise he found himself wanting to stay for the night, no matter what might be happening later on.

Carefully, he laid one arm around Abby's shoulder, the other around Tony's, and pulled them a little closer.

He was open to everything.

The End

FIC: Love Lost? (NCIS)

2008-03-01T17:42:45Z

Title: Love Lost?
Author: JE
Summary: McGee asked Abby out before Tony got the chance. Does this mean that Tony lost his chance to ever be with her?
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Tony/Abby, McGee/Abby, Gibbs/Ducky, Gibbs/Tony
Website Link: http://www.geocities.com/immortalje/english/other/lovelost.html
Beta: not beta read

Love Lost?

Tony's day just went down the drain. Here he'd gotten his courage up to finally ask Abby out, working long in preparations by giving her little presents regularly giving her compliments, trying to get her interested in him and the little fucker had to come and ruin everything. And what about the cards he had gotten? He was sure that Abby would have liked the play he had chosen, but now he's waited too long and lost his chance. And he couldn't even give the cards back. Damn his luck.

Considering to just get drunk and hook up with someone to numb his pain he pulled out his address book, thinking about who'd be available for what he had in mind to shut up his screaming and raging heart.

He was through the first few pages, ruling out those that wanted something else or were currently dating someone, when his phone rang. Waiting until the answer machine got it, trying to be as anti-social as possible until he had chosen a date for the evening, he was surprised to hear the voice of someone he knew was dating some rich business man, "Tony? Are you there? If not I wondered whether you could..."

Jumping up, Tony made his way over to the phone, ripping the receiver of its cradle, nearly letting it crash to the floor, and answered, "How can I help you, Bernice?"

He tried to sound as cheerful as possible, but knew that he didn't succeed in any way.

"Before you come on wrong ideas, my boyfriend and I get along just well, but a friend of mine needs to get out a little, have some fun. If you don't mind me setting you up," was the answer.

Tony was close to saying no, but stopped himself just in time. Wasn't this what he was looking for? A little fun for the night? Sighing he answered, "Why not. I was just looking whom I could ask out for tonight and don't have anything planned for the rest of the week."

"You don't need to sound dejected! Or did something happen?" asked Bernice worried.

Shaking his head, not realising that his friend couldn't see it, Tony answered, "No, nothing is wrong. Just... you remember the girl I told you about? Abby? I had planned on asking her out Friday night. Only we got someone new at work and he was quicker than me and you know my policy."

"That's tough, but I'm glad that you're up for someone new instead of taking someone from your little book. And in case you wondered, my friend can be ready in two hours and you can fetch her from my place," was the heartfelt answer.

Agreeing to the time and telling her what he had in mind, Tony put the phone back down and picked his address book up, putting it back next to the phone and heading to the shower to prepare for the evening.

***
Two hours later Tony was standing in fine clothes in front of the door, waiting for someone to open the door. He was surprised when instead of Bernice her boyfriend answered the door and motioned him in. Following the man into the living room he could hear Bernice calling down, "We're just about finished, won't take much longer."

"So you're Bernice good friend. She's said quite a bit about you, especially when she suggested you to ask about getting my cousin a date," broke the other man the silence.

Tony nodded before answering, "I might have a big address book and go regularly on dates with different women, but I only go as far as my date wants to and I don't lie to them only to get them in my bed. I think women are something special and should be treated as such; I just didn't find the right one for me yet. And I hope Bernice mentioned that I won't ask anyone out where I know they're in a relationship."

"Yes she mentioned that and I have to say I've never met a man with this opinion who's not willing to commit to one woman," was the answer, accompanied by a bright smile.

Tony released a breath he hadn't known he was holding at that, but was kept from commenting when Bernice and her friend came down the stairs. He had to admit that she looked beautiful with her blonde her pulled into a bun with a few hairs standing out and the baby-blue dress. Bernice only wore regular clothes that she most probably had worn at work today, but Tony could spot her beauty as well. Showing his appreciation to Bernice by raising his eyebrows accompanied with a smile, he watched them take the last few steps and awaited the introductions.

"Tony, may I introduce you to my friend and Jared's cousin Beth?" commented Bernice with a smile, "Beth, this is Tony, your date for the night. I hope you get along real well."

Tony could see Beth's shy smile and greeted her with a bigger one in return. Offering her his arm they said their goodbyes and went their way.

He had chosen an upper class restaurant that served mainly Italian food and some of the best wines you could get and it didn't take him more then 10 minutes to get there and an additional five to bypass the line waiting for entrance and be seated at the table he had reserved. It had advantages to be a regular after all.

It didn't take long for them to choose something to eat and within short time they started to talk, quickly finding common grounds. By the time they were finished eating Tony knew two things, one that he had found someone who had the same political ideas he had and two, his date was looking for more than just a night of fun, but if he was honest he didn't really feel up to it either. He'd only have Abby on his mind after all. He also knew that he'd have to tell Beth that too, wouldn't do to keep her thinking something else.

He coughed to get her attention and when he saw her calming down from the latest laughing fit, he started, "I don't know what Bernice told you about me, but I've never had a steady relationship yet and all my colleagues know me as a womanizer and I..."

"Bernice told me about your code. It's the only reason I really agreed to it. I'm done with relationships for the time, but I don't want a one-night-stand either. Bernice and Jared decided that I needed to get out however. I hope you don't mind," answered Beth.

Breathing a sigh of relief Tony answered, "To be honest, when I came home today I had been looking for someone to have some fun, but now I'm not sure anymore whether that would really change anything. It makes me glad that I agreed to go out with you and it was most definitely fun so far. I never found anyone to speak about politics in this way before."

He received a smile in response and returned it sadly.

"Bernice mentioned something about you being a little down when she called you earlier. What happened? Maybe I can help you," asked Beth upon seeing his slightly sad face.

Tony sighed and answered, "As you know I work with NCIS and there's this girl working in the lab. She's a goth and has the habit of hanging up pictures of gruesome injuries, but deep down she's real sweet. I like her humour and I've been trying to get the courage up to ask her out. Only I was a bit too slow. We got someone new and he asked her real quick. Just my luck, isn't it?"

"That sounds as if you're head over heels in love. Maybe not all is lost. You don't know how their date ended and who's to say that anything is going to develop from this?" tried Beth to cheer Tony up.

"Maybe," attested Tony, "But we should talk about something else instead, this just makes me feel depressed."

"You're right. The idea of this was to make me have some fun and get out of the house and not to turn it into a pity fest," responded Beth with a slight smile.

They kept talking for a while until they decided that it was time to call the evening to an end. Just when they were standing up from the table, having paid and finished their wine, they were interrupted by a voice saying, "Tony! I didn't think that I'd be seeing you here tonight."

Turning around Tony came face to face with the one and only Abby Scuito. He could see McGee right behind her, looking slightly nervous.

Deciding not to be rude he started the introductions, "Beth this are Abby Scuito and Tim McGee, I work with them. Abby, McGee this is Beth a friend of mine."

When neither Abby nor McGee said anything about his lack of enthusiasm he figured that he had sounded cheerful enough.

"If you'd excuse us, we were just about to leave," ended Tony.

Both nodded and went to the table the waitress had led them to while Tony and Beth went to fetch their coats.

Once outside Beth commented, "She looks nice and you shouldn't give up on her. After all you have the older rights, don't you?"

Tony smiled at this and pushed his depressing thoughts aside again. "So what do you want to do next? Want to take a stroll or should I bring you home already?" asked Tony after taking a deep breath of the cool night air.

Smiling Beth answered, "We could walk through the park over there for a few minutes for digestion and then we could call it a night."

Tony was quick to agree and an hour later he found himself in his bed alone, wishing Abby would be there with him.

The rest of the week was spent in similar fashion. He went out every night with someone else, usually ending with his date staying at his place or Tony staying at her place and a slightly hung-over morning. At work he tried to keep everything up to normal, including his usual flirting with Abby, though whenever she returned everything his heart started to ache, knowing that this was only fun for Abby. He knew that she and McGee were going out on Friday night again that made him even more depressed.

Offering his tickets he had bought with the thought of asking Abby out to Ducky and whomever he choose to accompany him, he tried to be as normal as possible and as far as he knew no one was the wiser about how he truly felt.

***

Another eventless week went by with him getting plastered every night and having some fun afterwards, but his heart was never with him and if his dates realised this, they didn't say anything.

He wondered how long he could keep this up when one Jethro Gibbs sat down opposite him late Friday night, looking expectantly at him. He ignored him as best as he could and kept on getting drunk enough to stop thinking about Abby and what he lost because he was too slow. He wondered what Kate would say if she ever found out.

A few drinks later Gibbs became impatient and moved closer, trying to keep Tony from getting even more drunk than he already was. He was about to pull Tony back from the table and the glass on it, he wasn't sure what the other man was drinking, when said man suddenly turned around and without much thought started kissing him. Jethro couldn't stop him and not much later found that he didn't want to. Deciding to get them home first he pulled Tony up and went to the counter, paying for both of them and maneuvered him out of the bar and to his car.

***

The next morning found one very hung-over Tony DiNozzo wondering how his boss ended up in the bed, before the memories returned and he started to groan. Things just got even worse.

He was about to throw the blanket on the other half of the bed and walk to the bathroom when an arm pulled him back.

"Since you're apparently sober enough again, you can explain to me why you've suddenly become so depressed and don't try to deny it. I've seen it clearly during the last two weeks and it is a wonder that no one else realized it yet and before you start to wonder. Last night won't play a role, I need a good excuse either way," said Jethro Gibbs.

Turning around Tony raised an eyebrow, "For what do you need a good excuse? For breaking your rule? Don't worry, I'm not interested in you in that way and neither did you do anything."

"That's good to know and no I didn't speak about breaking the rule. I mostly told Kate this since I could see that she would have tried something under certain circumstances, but I'm already in a relationship with Ducky. And before you ask: I need the excuse so he won't decide to go after my hide when I tell him," answered the grey haired man.

Deciding that lying wouldn't bring him anything he sighed before responding, "I guess you're the one Ducky took with him to the play. You know I had originally planned on asking Abby to go with me, but then McGee comes and asks her before I could."

"You're usually strait forward with women. Why not with Abby?" asked the older man confused.

Tony laughed dryly before answering, "Abby is not just anyone and I have a rule. You know about my address book where I write every woman in? I don't just write the numbers down, but also preferences, whether they're someone to have some fun in the bed with no strings attached or just someone to have a nice evening with. I respect their wishes and I don't ask them out when they're dating someone. I treat them the way a woman should be treated, with respect. Abby doesn't belong in this category; neither does what I want from her. I want something steady and that is something where I'm not experienced and I tried going slow on it, giving her presents, complementing her and I just had gotten the courage up to ask her when McGee appeared. Now I'll never have a chance."

Gibbs was surprised at the depth of Tony's thoughts and the depth of the pain he showed. He had thought that Tony had a special way with women and this admission didn't come as a surprise, but the one about Abby. That was a surprise, but not totally. He just hadn't figured that he could get hurt so much about it.

"Tony, don't beat yourself up over it. Who knows if this will keep up and maybe you'll get a chance earlier than you think. And if not, I'm sure there plenty of women out there who wouldn't mind waking up to your charm every morning," tried Jethro to lighten up his co-workers mood, "And who's going to keep me inline when I'm getting to moody?"

Tony laughed at that, before standing up and preparing for the day. Once he was finished he offered the shower to his boss and started making breakfast and extra strong coffee.

It had been different when he told Beth less than two weeks ago, but this time he felt somehow freer as if a heavy weight had been taken from him and maybe it was. Now there was someone at work whom he didn't need to pretend when around and he had no doubt that Ducky would know too when he had understood what Gibbs had said correctly.

He was just finished with everything when the man on his thoughts entered the kitchen, raising an eyebrow when he saw the breakfast.

"I can cook you know? And I made your coffee extra strong," defended Tony himself before sitting down on one side and starting on his breakfast. Gibbs followed his example and sat down, tentatively testing the breakfast. He was positively surprised to find out that the younger man had spoken the truth when he said that he was able to cook.

When everything was finished Gibbs stood up and said, "I need to go or Ducky will get worried..."

"He most probably is. I mean you don't return on a Friday night?" interrupted Tony.

Gibbs grimaced and answered, "I told him that I'd be out, checking what is wrong with you, but it wasn't supposed to end this way. He's most probably worried. Nothing good happens when you're right DiNozzo."

"What can I do for it?" asked Tony with a small smile on his face. He liked this bantering between them and he knew how it was meant. They had come to an understanding about this half a year after he had started at NCIS. In tolerance for his goofy-ness Gibbs wouldn't need to outright compliment him. They had a similar talk about Tony's feelings, only that this talk hadn't taken place in a bedroom with both of them naked.

Tony suddenly smiled a brighter smile, "Oh and if Ducky gives you any trouble about me then tell him that I don't take a no when I'm too drunk. I usually know how far things will go and can tell when I should stop drinking, but I was alone last night."

"That reminds me. What about your car? Do..." asked Gibbs only to be interrupted by Tony, "I planned on drinking so much. Do you really think that I would have driven home that way? I used a cab to get there, fully intent on using one on the way home."

"That's good to know. Wouldn't have wanted you to have an accident and then I'd have the whole team on my back about not realizing anything was wrong with you," answered Gibbs.

Tony led him to the door after telling him that he'd take care of the plates and waited for the other man to check whether he had everything he needed. After finding everything in its place Gibbs turned around and said, "Don't do anything stupid and I'll see you Monday morning bright and early."

"I won't. See you Monday," responded Tony, watching his boss walk over to his car and get in.

Closing the door Tony sighed and sank to the floor. He knew that what happened the previous night wouldn't have any consequences and he understood that Gibbs wouldn't reveal anything of this to anyone but Ducky, but none of this changed the fact that he lost Abby; no matter how optimistic Gibbs was that he'd still have a chance. Cursing his luck he contemplated calling up someone and going out tonight, but after thinking about the last evening he decided against it. Gibbs didn't tell him not to get drunk, just not to do anything to risk his health by driving drunk or otherwise injuring himself.

***

Half an hour after he started the car Jethro Gibbs arrived at his house. He could see Ducky's car sitting outside and movement behind the kitchen window. His lover was there alright and up as well. It was time to share what he had learned and confess about what he had done. Taking a deep breath he got out of the car and locked it, straightening up he started walking to the front door.

Once inside he headed to the kitchen where he came face to face with an angry coroner, "Where have you been all night? I thought you only wanted to find out what was wrong with Anthony?"

"Well I found out what is wrong with him, but I also did something stupid. If you'd let me explain and hopefully forgive me afterwards," sighed Gibbs, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

Ducky motioned him to sit down at the table where leftovers from breakfast were visible along with two cups of steaming coffee. Apparently Ducky had seen him coming.

Sighing again Gibbs started, "I found him in a bar, downing one drink after another. Not sure what he drunk, but it must have been something strong. After a while I joined him at the table and was ignored until I moved closer. He'd... We... Let's just say that Tony was drunk enough to not care who I was and you know how little I can resist anything tempting."

"You mean you...," started Ducky, realization showing on his face.

Gibbs continued before the coroner could say anything else, "I didn't mean to let it go so far, but things happened. I stayed at his place and when Tony woke up this morning he more than regretted what happened. I told him about us and that nothing would change at work, well I told him after he confessed to me what was wrong."

He could see the raised eyebrow and the underlying forgiveness, but the promise that he wouldn't forget about this. He'd get punished for his infidelity at a later time, for now Tony was more important.

"He told me about his code in dealing with women. They want a one-night-stand, they get one. They only want to have fun on a night out, they get this. He writes this preference in his book where he keeps their numbers. He also knows when they're dating someone. He also told me that there is someone he considers different from all others and he thinks that he ruined his chances. Well not ruined, but waited to long to do something about it," finished Gibbs.

Ducky sighed and asked, "It's Abby, isn't it? The presents, the compliments? Abby is worried too, you know? She said she missed the presents and that Tony wasn't his usual self, his compliments are only half hearted."

Gibbs nodded and after a while added, "You know I"ve never seen him this heartbroken."

"We'll have to do something about it. I'll speak with Abby about this. I won't mention what Tony told you, just try and find out what Abby feels about this," planned Ducky and after a pause he contemplated, "He wanted to invite Abby to the play, didn't he? She would have loved it. She envied me when she found out I had gotten cards."

The rest of the weekend was spend thinking about ways how to get Abby and Tony together, while Gibbs was punished in just terms by having to sleep on the couch for a week.

***

Come Monday their plan was about to be put into action. They hoped that it'd work.

They needn't have worried about it though as Ducky found out soon enough. When he went to see if Abby was already in her lab he found her doing a test forcefully, clinking the beakers together at every opportunity and setting the instruments down in a way that it was a wonder none of them had broken yet. Apparently her weekend hadn't gone over so well.

"Abby, dear, what happened?" asked Ducky gently.

When the goth turned around he could see the anger on her face along with traces of tears long run out, "McGee is what happened! I saw him with some chick last night, making out!"

"Oh Abby, I'm sorry to hear that," responded Ducky, taking her in his arms. All the while he was doing a happy dance mentally. This solved the problem of getting Abby to forget about McGee. Now all they had to do was set her up with Tony, knowing him he'd refuse once he heard how Abby was hurt, afraid that he'd do the same.

With a sob the lab rat continued, "And Tony's doesn't like me anymore. Nobody likes me!"

"Abby, hush, I like you and Gibbs does too and I'm sure Tony likes you as well," said Ducky in a sure voice.

Abby just shook her head and said, "Then why doesn't he joke with me anymore? He's always distant lately, no matter how hard he tries and he's stopped leaving me presents."

"I'm sure there's another reason. Why don't you fix yourself up now and the two of us will have a drink after work together and talk about this?" suggested Ducky.

When Abby nodded he let her go and ushered her to the bathroom. He could see the small, if still mostly sad, smile on her face. Taking a deep breath he went back to his office, intent on informing Gibbs about the new development and slowly an idea was forming.

***

The day was over soon enough, with no major cases coming on and after closing up he fetched Abby, leading her to the bar a street down from the office. When he opened the door he looked around and quickly spotted Gibbs and Tony at the far wall sitting at a slightly secluded table. If his lover hadn't been sitting on the only chair not behind the small wall erected for privacy he wouldn't have been able to spot them at all. He steered her through the crowed and told her to sit down, that he'd be getting her something to drink. Ducky saw her hesitate when she realized who was already sitting at the table and motioned her to take a seat, before walking over to the counter and ordered Abby's favorite drink, something she had confessed to him once, and asked it to be delivered to the table. Before he could say anything else his lover came up behind him and ordered a drink for Tony and two for both of them to be drunk at a different table.

***

Meanwhile Abby and Tony were looking anywhere but each other, occasionally stealing a glance. After a while Tony couldn't hold it any longer and ask, "So how's McGee?"

"I don't care," answered Abby with a bit more force than necessary.

Tony was surprised to hear that, "I thought you got along well?"

"Apparently not well enough. I saw him kissing some blonde bimbo last night," responded Abby angrily, "What's it to you anyway?"

"I..." said Tony soundlessly, unsure how to respond. Looking down on the table, he was surprised when a waitress set two drinks on the table before going again before he could ask a question.

Suddenly it dawned on him. Ducky must have heard of McGee's betrayal earlier and together with Gibbs decided to get them some time alone together, but was this really the right time?

Pushing his glass from one side to the other he remained silent, thinking about what to do next. After some time he started, "You know that Ducky and Gibbs probably planned this?"

He could see how Abby looked up startled and ready to question his intelligence, but he halted her by motioning her to remain silent.

"I mean I doubt that they'll be joining us again and by the way they arranged it this is the only possibility," explained Tony.

He could see her thinking about it and bowing down to the truth, "But why would they do that?"

Tony opened his mouth to answer, but could think of so many reasons that he didn't know which one to use. Instead he downed his drink in one go and decided to try some of usual forcefulness and plain and simple ask her to join him.

"Want to go somewhere else? Dance maybe?" asked Tony standing up.

Abby looked up at him and down to her drink again. Following Tony's example she downed it in one go and answered with a smile, "Sure, why not?"

On his way out he noticed Ducky and Gibbs sitting in a different booth, following their way, the coroner motioning that he'd already paid for their drinks. Smiling in their direction he led Abby out of the bar and back to where he had parked his car in the morning.

***

The next morning Kate and McGee were surprised to see a brightly smiling Tony entering the office and sitting down at his place, diving into his work.

"Won't you be telling us about what a wonderful date you had yesterday?" asked Kate carefully.

Tony just smiled at her and said, "The best I ever had."

Gibbs arrived just in time to hear Tony's statement and smiled at him, showing that he was glad Abby and Tony had found each other, before commenting on Kate's disbelieving face.

"Something wrong Agent Todd?" asked Gibbs, successfully startling the profiler.

The End

FIC: Conferences (CSI:Miami/NCIS)

2008-03-01T17:18:03Z

Title: Conferences
Author: JE
Summary: A chance meeting at a conference.
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Tim Speedle/Tony DiNozzo
Website Link: http://www.geocities.com/immortalje/english/xover/conferences.html
Beta: not beta read

Conferences

Bored, Tim sat alone at a table, a portion of fries and a burger in front of him. So far the conference had been a farce. The one lecture he had been to after the greeting had been terribly. While the topic was interesting, the guy who had presented it had stuttered through the whole thing. The complete audience had been as relieved as the presenter when the thing was over. The next one hadn't taught him anything new despite the fact that it had looked pretty good in the beginning.

He was startled out of his thoughts, when a chair at the table was pulled back and someone asked, "Mind if I sit down?"

Looking up, Speed recognised the person immediately. Their last meeting was years ago.

"Tony DiNozzo? How long as it been? Five years?" asked Speed with a grin, the conference was saved.

Tony grinned in return and said, "Seven actually, can't believe it's been this long."

"You still with Baltimore PD?" asked Speed.

Tony only shook his head, "I joined NCIS a little over 4 years ago. Broke the record and I really like it there."

"Is it any good?" asked Speed curious.

Tony only grinned, "It's great. We're travelling most of the time. At least we did before we got a new Director. She doesn't like me. Neither does the new team member and officer from the Mossad. Don't know what she has against me. Both think I'm no good at what I do. They're old friends. It's been a rough year in total. One of our team died and we're still trying to figure out where everybody is now."

"Sorry for that. I can't imagine how it is to loose somebody from your team. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like. As to the others... sooner or later they have to notice that you're good. Play them up, I know you're good at it," answered Tim.

Tony nodded in agreement, "It's an idea. How about we check how many lectures we have in common."

Both pulled their lists out and soon realised that they shared most of them. Grinning at each other they thought about all the fun they could have together.

The rest of the afternoon the two spent together, joking throughout most lectures to remain sane during the really bad ones and because they could during the others.

That evening they went down to dinner together. After talking about work at lunch, both opted to talk about their private life this time. By the time they were finished and were sitting at the hotel bar drinking their beer, they had reached their currently empty love life.

"You know, with the way things are, I think we both should hook up again. Just like the last time. I certainly missed that," suggested Speed after a while.

Tony looked at Speed with a big grin, "You think? I think it's a perfect idea. Yours or mine?"

"How prepared are you? I didn't exactly plan for anything to happen," asked Tim, letting his leg brush against Tony's.

Tony wet his lips and answered, "Then mine it is."

"You're always prepared? I somehow like that," smiled Speed in return. They quickly finished their beer, paid and left the bar.

Within 5 minutes they had arrived at Tony's room. As soon as the door closed behind them, they were kissing as if there was no tomorrow, pulling each other's clothes off. By the time they fell on the bed neither of them was wearing anything anymore.

They took great care in rediscovering the other's body, finding new scars and old sensitive spots. Kissing and touching each other passionately. Both knew that they would only have this night as the conference would be over the following afternoon and through an unspoken agreement, both took their time.

Tim's already heavy breathing hitched when Tony's erect cock came into contact with over his own. A look into Tony's showed that the other man was as affected by this as he was. Pulling Tony back down, Speed kissed him deep and hard.

Once the kiss was broken, Tim said, "I want you in me. Now."

In response Tony groaned and his breathing became heavier. Reluctantly he pulled back and grabbed the lube and condom where it lay on the bedside drawer.

Tony kissed Speed passionately before he started kissing a trail downwards, stopping at Tim's nipples shortly to bite and lick them. He licked Speed's cock once before he opened the bottle and poured some oil onto his hand. After it had warmed up a bit he started to prepare his lover.

Slowly he circled the ring of muscles, before gently pressing in, stroking with his free hand along the Speed's thighs. Fascinated by the reactions his actions caused, Tony started licking at the crook between Tim's groin and thigh, grinning when he received even an especially loud moan.

With time he added a second and a third finger, never letting up on his other actions, watching the ecstasy clearly visible on Speed's face.

When he figured that he was prepared enough, Tony pulled back, soothing Tim when he moaned in loss, and opened the condom, pulling it over his aching erection.

Carefully, he positioned himself and slowly pushed in. Inch by inch he pushed his way in, never stopping to kiss Speed wherever he could reach.

Tim meanwhile pulled Tony closer, trying to get him to speed up. When Tony was finally fully sheathed in him, Speed hooked his legs behind his lover, pulling him even closer.

Tony only grinned at Tim before he pulled out and pushed in again. He set a slow pace to begin with, but soon Speed started pulling him closer with his legs with every thrust he did.

Bowing down to the pressure, Tony sped up and soon their movement became frantic, both trying to get as close to the other as physically possible. Not much later Speed came with Tony's name on his lips, pushing the letter over the edge when his muscles contracted around his cock. Once Tony's orgasm was over, he laid down exhausted, listening to Speed's wild heartbeat.

After a while, when he had calmed down, he pulled out of his lover and got rid of the condom. Rolling to the side, Tony snuggled close to Speed who wrapped his arms around him.

After a while Tim said, "Ithink we should do this more often. Take some time off and meet somewhere."

"I like that idea. Every now and then I need a little time away," agreed Tony.

The End